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[08 Dec 2008|01:04pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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my way - sex pistols/vicious |
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Me and Daren just got back last night from dunnville. Were at haines all weekend since Thursday. Oh but now I don't feel well from all the drinking. Plus I'm not feeling well like sick wise. We had a party for Matt but he never came back to dunnville. So today all I want to do is sleep. I slept all morning. I'm sitting here drinking hot chocolate that Daren made for me :D its good. Yesterday was 6 months for me and Daren. It seems like so much longer. And that's also good. I have to go put the laundry in. Over
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[11 Oct 2008|10:35am] |
good morning...
so i didnt come back for good on here.
but heres an entry
update, 4 months with my bf Daren Pitt <3
my sons getting huge hes almost 10 months!!
die
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[08 Jun 2008|05:48pm] |
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music |
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the crowd - operation ivy |
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so im back from dunnville. it was marvelous. friday night street dance with Blake, kai and jay. the only shit about friday was i spent all of my 40 bucks and didnt even catch a slight buzz. saturday was the best. beer tent yet again with blake, kai, and jay.
shawns party = fuckin rad night.
tons of pictures and people and drinking.
love
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[04 Jun 2008|07:11pm] |
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mood |
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 rejected |
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music |
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Sleep - The Dandy Warhols |
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i feel different now...
i came back.. im not sure why :(
it feels good but it feels bad
i dont care what it feels like anymore because i think i belong here.
i cant get away from it.. my feelings
because i missed him, of course i did. and i always lose. not that its a game but i lost.... i did.
so go on and do whatever you want now.
go on and be whoever you want
act however you want
talk to me any way you want
and treat me the way you want
.......cause i'll always be here....
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[02 Jun 2008|06:06pm] |
i look pretty fucked up in my dj display pic hahaha.
so im somewhere right now... not dunnville...
but i cant type where cuz i dont want sean to know.
seems childish... i know...
Im drinking beers and im getting there... drunk that is.
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| Defeat |
[01 Jun 2008|06:26pm] |
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mood |
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disappointed |
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music |
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Smashing pumpkins - in the arms of sleep |
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Day 2 in dunnville. Im actually lying in bed typing this on my cell phone due to lack of computer and internet. And its only 9:30. And why am i in bed so early you may ask? Well theres nothing better to do... Ive barely eaten anything today. Half a hamburger and a chunk of cheese. Thats it. And i didnt eat anything yesterday either. Im pretty pissed off at sean for what he did to me. I practically hate him really. I kinda feel like i dont really care at all anymore. I had some pretty wicked awful thoughts. I could have strangled him. I could... So no one else can have him. I cant stand the thought of another girl touching him. Let alone other stuff. Like him not being mine forever. I wanted him forever. Im trying to be the tough one this time. I have to be. Or else i lose... As usual. I dont think i can admit whats really in my mind and heart. That would be like admiting defeat. Either way my hearts going to be shattered into a million pieces. I know this already because he said it himself its over.
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[31 May 2008|11:50am] |
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mood |
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uncomfortable |
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music |
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Cock sparrer |
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im taking a break, going away for a while, me and devon. im pretty numb right now. i dont really wanna blab the whole thing on here so just to get the gist of it...
sean and i had a fight sorta.....
the question is, do you leave? or stay with him.... even though its a little late now, his hands were all over me. i tried to get out of his grip but i wasnt strong enough....
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[30 May 2008|02:23am] |
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mood |
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 dorky |
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[29 May 2008|02:21am] |
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mood |
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 ecstatic |
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i missed a few days in here. i bought Apple Green dye for my hair the other day.. yeh guess what? it faded away again! fuck. so im dying it back to brown with normal hair colour that you get at your pharmacy... or walmart...etc.
anyways, Rancid + August + 2 whole days = im speechless
i cant wait!!!
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[26 May 2008|02:20am] |
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music |
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Yellin In My Ear - Operation Ivy |
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ok so i bought the hair dye... yah it didnt even work. it completely washed out of my hair. so now my hair still looks like its just bleached. im heading back to Out Of The Past to get a new hair dye. like Evergreen.
i bought an Operation Ivy t-shirt on ebay today. I want it now, but it takes like 6 - 10 business days to get to me. fuck.
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[24 May 2008|02:19am] |
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i just finished green mint icecream... or whatever its called. i bought my green hair dye.. its really green. Neon. im about to head over to my moms. she toild me im not allowed to dye my hair green tonight, holy wtf. i'll do what i fucking want. and apparently im not allowed to bring MY music to play cuz apparently no ones gona like "punk" she said. fuck whatever. im heading over there, and im bringing it... with my green hair and my booze
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[23 May 2008|02:16am] |
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music |
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Leftover crack - ya cant go home |
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im sick of the fact that i have to smoke outside. i bought a wicked Misfits poster today. its up on my livingroom wall. seans in the shower shaving his head. i wanna dye my hair. green and black i think. better head down to Out Of The Past for that. its the only place i can buy good hair colour. i hate manic panic. it sucks dick. im gonna go get a Leftover Crack poster tomorrow. i saw it today but i didnt have enough for it. my plan is to cover this apartment in posters. oh yeah....
im waiting for my GST and tax money to arrive. with that i get new tattoo and pierce my lip. im looking forward to that. ive been talking bout piercing my lip for a long time. i had it before but it closed when i had to take it out to work at Cadbury. i hate that place. i never thought i could get sick of candy but apparentl;y you can. anywho im going OUTSIDE (omg) to smoke.
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[23 May 2008|02:14am] |
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mood |
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 okay |
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music |
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Too Much Too Young - The Specials |
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im so tired....
i gotta go out and get a blind for the bedroom window today. hopefully not too expensive. this is definitely the best apartment ive ever had. im sitting here sipping dollarama coffee lol. cheap. we went to the reserve last night to buy cigarettes. we ended up getting 4 bags lol. holy 800 smokes. i imagine it'll keep us going for a while. sean bought me Wendy's last nite... mmmmmmm. yummy fast food. i did some work in the baby's room this morning, got the closet organized. its sooo messy in here from all the boxes. moving shit. it seems like we'll never be organized. when sean left for work today i watched him go through the courtyard... hahaha stalker!!!! jk. a part of me wanted to run out after him and hug him one more time. sometimes when he leaves i get sad. a part of me is becoming too attached. is that a good thing or a bad thing??? i dont know. anyways, im off to take a shower
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[22 May 2008|02:13am] |
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mood |
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 devious |
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music |
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The Bouncing Souls - The Something Special |
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r.a.n.d.o.m.n.e.s.s.
.beer.
.white.
.green.
.rainbow.
.high.
.blue martini.
.pornstar.
.dye.
.black pants.
.ring.
.kiss.
.tattoo.
.bar.
.dance.
.him.
.a girl.
.concert.
.drums.
.posters.
.popsicle.
.lollipop.
.music.
.black eye.
.city.
.drive.
.computer.
.photoshop.
.blinkies.
.sparklers.
.lava lamp.
.walk.
.a fuck you.
.punch.
.nemo.
.a crazy lady.
.memories.
.sex.
.pierced.
.photo.
.and a "screw you"
if you know me, you'll understand my favorite list... if you dont, you wont, so why are you reading this if you dont know me????
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[22 May 2008|02:10am] |
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mood |
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 busy |
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Everythings moved into the new place. I kinda figured that it would have been the easiest move ever since its like right next door... but NOOOOO...it just had to be the hardest move everrrrrrrr!!!!ARRRRRGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! but its all here now. the apartment is post-nuclear. theres stuff everywhere. omg omg omg....
im waiting for my check
Waiting
WaItInG
WAITiNG!!!!!!!
need hair dye. new pants.
Need MoNeY.. thats it.
seans at work. im going up there to meet him later. I have to go get groceries and cut him some keys. i suppose i should get going.
im off to change my clothes.
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[21 Jan 2007|04:44pm] |
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Im tired... i didnt go to bed last night err... this morning til like 5 am. I went for coffee at timmies with Berend at like 2 am lmao. so i slept til like 12 30 this afternoon and i would have slept longer if my dad hadnt showed up at the door. im going home in like 15 minutes to do laundry. oh yay.
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| i have no lover?! |
[13 Jan 2007|01:02pm] |
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mood |
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 confused |
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music |
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Lovedrug - blackout |
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ok so i redid my background and colours on here, but im kind of getting sick of the layout. so i think next time i am gonna make it completely different. anyways, so i have come to the conclusion that i have no lover... as sad as it is....its true. i have been living in an imaginary world. i just couldnt understand how someone could act completly like you boyfriend but not call it that. it doesnt make the other person feel good to hear that (and me being the other person i mean). so i didnt know what else to think. so i came up with a solution and then proposed it to him. but it didnt go as i thought it would, i thought he wouldnt care, but i truely think he does. i just dont want to be alone the rest of my life. and truthfully i don't want to see other ppl because there is no one in this world that i would rather be with. but the problem is that i cant have him. he wont let me. and that hurts. and now that i've accepted that, im almost ready to give up. i've always been a pretty strong person and i havent really actually givin up on anything before, but this time i really think that i might have to. no matter what i do he just doesnt want me. maybe I am the problem. maybe his expectations are too high. and i know he got burned before by someone else and i dont know if it has anything to do with that but i know that im not her.
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[06 Jan 2007|10:39pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
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music |
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Senses Fail - Martini Kiss |
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ok so party last night at bam's house. i didnt drink very much but i still managed to come home and literally rip my clothes off for my boyfriend lol. i am soo sexy hahaha.
you know it!! anyways, so me and lindsay have an evil plot to make somebody jealous haha! but i cant tell you or that person is sure to find out, and if you ask me i'll have to kill you...
There's poison in my drinking glass
Don't stop, just sip it down
And in a swirling masquerade of sound
My body hits the ground
I'm beautiful when I'm asleep
Martini kisses land
On my blistered bloody scarlet lips
The bottle's in my hand
Burn out, not fade away
i'll speak in riddles so you can understand
I'll draw in pencil so you can trace with pen
So in love with me, like sand to wet feet
I'll write both our names into the wet concrete
We're glistening like silver spoons
Beneath the summer night
Oh, can you smell the subtle hint of frost
As the flowers start to cry
The autumn winds are bringing graves
To all the emerald trees
They're so beautiful in their dismay
The colors slowly bleed
The pawns will fade away
The king's at his checkmate
And I sit here
With a sick grin
Choking, as I laugh until I die
senses fail
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[02 Jan 2007|06:16pm] |
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i was supposed to got to a party at Antons on new years eve. but i didnt get my money so i didnt go cuz i had no booze. well i had no boozed that i wanted to bring that is. i still had thed wiskey that was in tims freezer that me and him ended up drinking that night anyways. so my holidays went pretty good. i got a lot of purfume for christmas. thats pretty much all i got lol. but thats good i loved to smell good haha. tim got me these wicked headphones. it was my favorite present. anything that has to do with music is good. so tomorrow i have to go to Hagersville Hospital to see a neurologist. oh yay.
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| back in dunnville |
[30 Dec 2006|10:59pm] |
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ok so i left for hamilton yesterday and wasnt supposed to be back until like tuesday but i got sick. oh fuck i was soo sick!! i took malakai to the mall today and i bought a new outfit. tim picked me up tonight and now im back at his house again. stupid sickness...
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